So, why did I choose this by line for my website?
I heard a song by AronChupa on Spotify about five years called “I’m an Albatraoz”.
There’s some less than wholesome lyrics contained within the song but I remember hearing it and feeling, buzzword alert, empowered.
“Fuck that little mouse, ’cause I’m an albatraoz”.
There’s some wordplay here but the gist is that albatraoz is a reference to the albatross which is a large and sometimes aggressive bird. Hence, an albatraoz is someone who is not to be messed with.
And I like that.
When I heard it, I thought, yes, I’m not to be messed with.
This is significant for me because growing up I didn’t develop self esteem the way I should have. In the environment I was raised in I learned that my privacy didn’t matter, that emotions were a burden, especially sad ones, that if you had time to talk about your problems you weren’t spending enough time being thankful for what you had and that if you felt sad or any other negative emotion you needed Jesus and needed to pray more.
After leaving home at nineteen, the world came as a shock to me. Some negative things I never knew existed reared their ugly heads, I had been so protected. Some rights I didn’t know I had knocked me on my back because wrapping my head around the fact that had certain rights made me so tired I needed a nap. I quickly learned that the world didn’t always operate in the parameters of the little nucleus I’d been taught to view. Some of that learning experience was disappointing because learning about some of the real depravity in the world was oftentimes mind boggling. But a lot of it was also eye opening, in a good way. It’s like being in a tiny room all your life and one day finally escaping and realizing there’s other rooms, with things in it that you’ve never seen, fascinating, wonderful things.
So, I chose this by line for this website because that’s how I feel. Strong, badass, not to be messed with and I want to share that feeling with others, those who need it and even those who don’t because they feel the same way. Charity and solidarity.
The site address isn’t the same though because it was already taken and I didn’t want to use a variation because that’s not unique. So, I created F the Dragon. What the F stands for should be apparent. To me the dragon represents demons, the things we struggle with, our problems, our traumas, our pain, our sadness, our anger. All those things though, we can’t allow to consume us. We have to prevail over them. They’re going to happen, they’re going to manifest but we can’t let them win. Instead, we battle the dragon, every day, every week, or every month. When we defeat the dragon, the phoenix rises. We are reborn each time, stronger and stronger. Sometimes, the phoenix dies but we just kill that old dragon again and the phoenix returns, stronger than ever, ready to fight another day.