Hollyhock: That voice, the one that tells you you're worthless and stupid and ugly? Bojack: Yeah? H (hopeful): It goes away, right? It's just, like, a dumb teenage-girl thing, but then it goes away? B (lies): Yeah. "Stupid Piece of Sh*t". Bojack Horseman. Writ. Raphael Bob-Waksberg. Tornante Television. 2017, Netflix.
I haven’t written a post in a while. Generally, I’ve been wanting to write one post a day or so. But you know, life happens.
One of favorite responses to when someone shares their mental health struggles is this one: “It’s all in your head”. I say favorite not because it makes me happy to hear it but because I almost want to laugh, wryly upon hearing it. And also, because it’s something I’ve heard a lot and seems to be common preconceived notion and even response when such things are shared.
I’m sure some people say it or think it and mean it maliciously. But I also think a good amount of people who think it or even say it, do so out of ignorance.
It’s easy to feel that way, even as someone struggling with a mental health struggle. I myself used to tell myself this when I was struggling with depression as a teenager. It made me feel crazy but at the same time, it made me feel I was reminding myself to stop using my mental health as a crutch to excuse bad behavior or ill treatment of others.
But, sometimes, I can’t even make sense of what goes on in my own head.
And I’d like to take the opportunity to say that yes, it is somewhat all in my head. After all, that’s where my thoughts and emotions originate. However, I don’t believe that it being in my head should make what I’m experiencing invalid.
Whatever’s going on in my head may be wild, confusing, distressing but it’s all mine and I’m okay with that. I think it also may be okay for people to think to themselves, it’s all in my head. Maybe it helps them master their challenges. Maybe it reminds them that they’re human. But I don’t think people should say it to other people. For some reason, it comes across different from saying it to someone versus them saying it themselves.
If this doesn’t make sense, I must extend my deepest regrets. And now, I’m running away again for now.